The Breakdown before The Buildup …

June 15, 2018 started off just like any other summer day for me. I woke up, ate breakfast, went and got my wig sized lol and picked up my friend for a quick mall run. I remember it was fathers day weekend so we were headed to get our dads some gifts from the outlet. Crazy thing about that is … I went to the one In Cedarhill first, which was closer to my house, but when we got there , we figured naaaaan… the outlet in Grandprairie would grant us more options for what we wanted to gift them. On our way my friend slept as I played my music and drove ( what I thought to be carefully ) up 1382 headed toward the mall. I remember it being such a beautiful, yet hot day out. Approaching the last light before the exit toward my destination ( mind you I’d went through 3 already ) I did not make it through. I saw it coming, I saw my life about to change, that dark blue Jeep coming toward me had to been going 60 mph and it was literally nothing I could do about it. As I seen the car approaching mine, while traffic steadily passing on the other side, I was stuck. Nowhere to go. BOOOM ! My car was impacted and HEAVILY ! I swerve on TOP of that and now I’ve completely lost control. We’re spinning uncontrollably then BOOM, AGAIN as the Right tail of my car hits a pole. MY passenger is unconscious at this point. I’m screaming for my life , I thought it was OVER … BOOOOOMM AGAIN , A Red truck then hits MY CAR YALL, My passenger is ejected out the right back window & till this DAY GOD ONLY KNOWS HOW I made it out. I ended up in the middle of the road, Stuck. All I remember is I couldn’t sit but I couldn’t stand either. People are running toward me and I’m historical. The sun is beaming might I add and I remember me telling some bystander my back is broke my back is broken. I felt it in every incline of my body. I couldn’t even release my arms from holding myself up, because when I did it felt like I was being ran over time and time again. A few minutes roll by , I’m crying and I notice I can’t feel my legs, omg I can’t move my legs either…. WTH… So I’m holding my body up ,on steaming hot pavement , back on fire and now it’s registering to me that my legs are not moving though I’m trying countlessly. I literally told somebody to shoot me ! Those were my exact words. I laid my head back, I closed my eyes and I told GOD that I was ready and in that same breath He whispered back at me “Not yet” … As people crowded me in dis aroar , making way for the ambulance to take me off. I became numb. My body , My mind my thoughts literally just shut down. I vaguely remember the ride to the hospital , but I do remember the arrival. I didn’t want to see anyone , I didn’t want to talk , I wasn’t crying , I wasn’t thinking , I didn’t call for my mom , I didn’t ask for my dad, I was out of my body , literally. My mind was blank. I laid in that cold dark room as they gathered, scramming to perform cat scans and took MRI ‘s pre-surgery. I layed flat, still, no movement. My head lied back , my eyes were plastered to the ceiling and in that moment my Life Changed.