The Breakdown before The Buildup …

June 15, 2018 started off just like any other summer day for me. I woke up, ate breakfast, went and got my wig sized lol and picked up my friend for a quick mall run. I remember it was fathers day weekend so we were headed to get our dads some gifts from the outlet. Crazy thing about that is … I went to the one In Cedarhill first, which was closer to my house, but when we got there , we figured naaaaan… the outlet in Grandprairie would grant us more options for what we wanted to gift them. On our way my friend slept as I played my music and drove ( what I thought to be carefully ) up 1382 headed toward the mall. I remember it being such a beautiful, yet hot day out. Approaching the last light before the exit toward my destination ( mind you I’d went through 3 already ) I did not make it through. I saw it coming, I saw my life about to change, that dark blue Jeep coming toward me had to been going 60 mph and it was literally nothing I could do about it. As I seen the car approaching mine, while traffic steadily passing on the other side, I was stuck. Nowhere to go. BOOOM ! My car was impacted and HEAVILY ! I swerve on TOP of that and now I’ve completely lost control. We’re spinning uncontrollably then BOOM, AGAIN as the Right tail of my car hits a pole. MY passenger is unconscious at this point. I’m screaming for my life , I thought it was OVER … BOOOOOMM AGAIN , A Red truck then hits MY CAR YALL, My passenger is ejected out the right back window & till this DAY GOD ONLY KNOWS HOW I made it out. I ended up in the middle of the road, Stuck. All I remember is I couldn’t sit but I couldn’t stand either. People are running toward me and I’m historical. The sun is beaming might I add and I remember me telling some bystander my back is broke my back is broken. I felt it in every incline of my body. I couldn’t even release my arms from holding myself up, because when I did it felt like I was being ran over time and time again. A few minutes roll by , I’m crying and I notice I can’t feel my legs, omg I can’t move my legs either…. WTH… So I’m holding my body up ,on steaming hot pavement , back on fire and now it’s registering to me that my legs are not moving though I’m trying countlessly. I literally told somebody to shoot me ! Those were my exact words. I laid my head back, I closed my eyes and I told GOD that I was ready and in that same breath He whispered back at me “Not yet” … As people crowded me in dis aroar , making way for the ambulance to take me off. I became numb. My body , My mind my thoughts literally just shut down. I vaguely remember the ride to the hospital , but I do remember the arrival. I didn’t want to see anyone , I didn’t want to talk , I wasn’t crying , I wasn’t thinking , I didn’t call for my mom , I didn’t ask for my dad, I was out of my body , literally. My mind was blank. I laid in that cold dark room as they gathered, scramming to perform cat scans and took MRI ‘s pre-surgery. I layed flat, still, no movement. My head lied back , my eyes were plastered to the ceiling and in that moment my Life Changed.

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9 thoughts on “The Breakdown before The Buildup …

  1. Be encouraged and keep writing!!! Your writing will be your healing element not just for you but for all that read this blog!!! Keep pushing and God is going to creaany opportunities!!!
    Be blessed.

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  2. Jessie I can’t wait to see the finished work that God is gonna do in you! This is beautifully written. Keep pouring the truth out of your belly! It will be a resource for healing! For you and for others! Rev.12:11 says And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb, and by the word of their testimony.This is just beginning. Keep writing! This is your platform! Go get it!

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